Funny Birthday Jokes Collection , A collection of birthday jokes that make u laugh
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Next time, take off the candles."
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Why did the wife not put birthday candles on her husband's birthday cake?
It was not that she did not want to make him feel old, she wanted to save the environment.
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A fellow was talking to his buddy, and he said...
"I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."
His buddy said ...
"I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way that she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled."
So the fellow did.
The next day his buddy asked, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"
"Yes, I did," said the fellow.
"...And did she like it?" His buddy asked.
"Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door yelling, "I'll be back in an hour!!!"
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A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.
He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said.
"I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."
So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
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A husband went to buy a birthday gift for his wife. Some friends had been invited over that night to celebrate her fortieth, and he wanted to get something special. At the store he spotted some cute little music boxes. One blue one was playing "Happy Birthday." Thinking they were all the same, he chose a red one and had it gift-wrapped.
Later, at dinner, he gave it to his wife and asked her to open it.
When she lifted the lid, out came the tune to "The Old Gray Mare, She Ain't What She Used to be!"
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Some employees bought their boss a gift for his birthday. Before opening the gift, the boss shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner.
Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked...
"A bottle of wine?"
His employees replied, "No."
Again, he touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid...
"A bottle of scotch?"
"His employees replied again, "No."
Finally the boss asked...
"I give up. What is it?"
His workers responded, "A puppy."
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