Hindi Jokes - Funny | Dirty Santa Banta jokes in hindi - Non veg jokes in hindi

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• Wife: Why are you waiting here? Husband: Sher ka shikar karne ja raha hoon mere darling! Wife: Toh jao naa khade kyu ho! Husband: Kaise jaau.. Bahar kutta jo khada hai!
• Who’s d 1st Indian cricktr 2 bcum Captn in his 1st match,scord 100 in d same match n hit a 6 of last bal 2 defeat England?
• While visiting Santa’s house, Banta noticed that he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model. Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Banta asked why the small one was there. “Oh,” Santa replied, “I have decided to watch less T.V.”
• 1st beggar: arey, tum kyu us cinema poster ko aise gur rahe ho? 2nd beggar: main hee is cinema ka producer hoo
• Ek sharabi ne bahut zyada sharab pee le. Jab woh ghar aaya to uss ne jeb se chabi nikali aur tala ko kholney laga. Haath kaapne ke wajha se chabi kabhi idhar hat jati kabhi udhar hat jati, ek admi pass se guzra toh sharabi ne usey bataya ki tala nahi khul rahi hai. Uss shaks ne sharabi ke pass ja kar kaha, “lao chabi tala main khol deta hoon” Aur phir sharabee ne kaha, “Tala toh main hi kholonga bas tum makan ko pakar ke rakhna”
• I’ll Tell You Apka Dimag Kis Trah Ka He A B C D M N R U Ans Apke Dimagh Me Kide H QK Apko No. Or Alphabets Ki Pehchan Nai
• Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo. Patient: teek hai doctor (ek hafte ke baad) Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya? Patient: nahi doctor. Doctor: kyu nahi? Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe
• Banta thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince Banta that he is still alive. Nothing seemed to work. Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show Banta that dead men don’t bleed. After hours of tedious study, Banta seemed convinced that dead men don’t bleed. “Do you now agree that dead men don’t bleed?” the doctor asked. “Yes, I do,” Banta replied. “Very well, then,” the doctor said. He took out a pin and pricked the patient’s finger. Out came a trickle of blood. The doctor asked, “What does that tell you?” “Oh my goodness!” Banta exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger … “Dead men do bleed!!”
• Teacher -Past, present, future ka 1 example main deti hu Or 1 tum do Techer-mai sunder thi, hu, aur rahungi Student-Apko veham tha, hai Or rahega
• Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna. Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai
• Doctor ek patient ke pichhe bhag raha tha… Ek aadmi ne puchha kya hua? Doctor : Are yaar char bar aisa hua hai sala brain ka operation karwana aata hai aur baal katwake chala jata hai.
• Laloo to his P.A.: Itne khiladi kyun football ko laat maar rahe hai? P.A.: Goal kar ne k liye. Laloo: Susra, ball toh pahle se hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge!
• One person :-CA karne me kitna kharch aata hai CA Student:-Paise to bahut kam kharch hote hai bhai, par JAWANI puri kharch ho jaati he
• Ek aadmi ne ek gawar naukar rakh liya aur usse samjhaya ki kissi ke naam lene se pahle JEE laga diya kare. Thori der baad naukar bhagta hua aya aur bola… “Sahebji, sahebji kutte’ji’ ne murgi’ji’ ko pakar liya hai”
• Circiut: Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera Sara chain collection apne kamray mein chupa do na please. Munna bhai: Kyun tera dost chor hai kya? Circiut: Nahin Bhai, woh apne chain pehchan lega.
• Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai? Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai!!!
• SANTA: Mere Nana ne mujhse choti si baat par rishta tod diya.. BANTA: Kyun.Kya kha unhone.? . Unhone kaha.. . Moongphali me dana nhi Hum tumhare Nana Nhi..
• Banta Singh : “Yaar Santa, last year the name plate outside your house read Santa Singh, B.A. This year it reads Santa Singh, M.A.When did you finish your Masters Degree?” Santa Singh : You don’t understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate “Bachelor Again”. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is “Married Again”.