Chuck Norris Jokes - Best | Funny | Top 100 | Clean | dirty Chuck norris jokes

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  • Jesus can walk on water but chuck Norris can swim on land.
  • When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • A roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
  • Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  • Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? He didn’t. All roads cross the path Chuck Norris is heading.
  • Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
  • The idea for the helicopter began when Igor Sikorsky watched Chuck Norris roundhouse kick a legion of chimpanzees many times. It was when he himself was roundhouse kicked in the head that the idea finally kicked in.
  • Chuck noris is the reason waldo is hiding.
  • If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face
  • Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
  • Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it. 
  • A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his *** twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false – no one could survive it the first time. 
  • A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words. 
  • When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways. 
  • Chuck Norris shot down a plane by pointing up and yelling bang
  • The term “Reality T.V.” was invented when people realized Chuck Norris movies were really Michael Moore Documentaries.

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