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• A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea ‘Do you enjoy it?’ The doctor asked. ‘Actually, yes, I do.’ ‘Does it hurt you?’ he asked. ‘No. I rather like it.’ ‘Well, then,’ the doctor continued, ‘there’s no reason that you shouldn’t practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.’ The woman was mystified. ‘What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?’ ‘Of course,’ the doctor replied. ‘Where do you think politicians come from?
• Q. What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal? A. A hot dog and a six-pack.
• Late yesterday afternoon the US Government, in coalition with several major European countries, announced at a press conference newfound dangers from swallowing bubble gum. The FDA first learned of this problem after one of their officials attended a Pilates class. If you or someone you know chews gum and does pilates, make sure you send this to them!
• Late yesterday afternoon the US Government, in coalition with several major European countries, announced at a press conference newfound dangers from swallowing bubble gum. The FDA first learned of this problem after one of their officials attended a Pilates class. If you or someone you know chews gum and does pilates, make sure you send this to them!
• Q. How do men exercise at the beach? A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
• A woman is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, “What horrible luck! What in the world should I do now?” A gentleman next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, “I don’t know… Why don’t you play your age?” He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won! Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. He asks, “What happened? Is she all right?” The operator replies, “I don’t know, buddy…. She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!” What’d You Think?
• A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, ”Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” The lady was furious and continued on her way. On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said “Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn’t say it again. The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. “Hey, lady!” it said. “Yes?” “You know.”
• A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”